Dancing Boy

My younger son W. was always a dancer. He leaps, he twirls, he somersaults and cartwheels. He is a boy who is always in motion and dancing gives him a way of giving that motion form.
Two years ago when W. was 6 he announced that he wanted to take ballet. I knew his father wouldn’t be pleased, so I gently tried to talk him out of it. “How about basketball?” I suggested. “Sure, after ballet.” “Karate?” “Sure, if I can still take ballet.” He was adamant.
W. had been obsessed with ballet since we took him to see the Nutcracker at age 3. All the other kids were squirming in his seat but he was fascinated. Then when his two little girlfriends reenacted the ballet and told W. he couldn’t play, I stepped in and reminded them that the Nutcracker was a boy. I told them they had to include W. because boys do ballet too.
That apparently was enough encouragement for Will and off he went to ballet lessons. Now, W. is a boy who walks like a jock or a cowboy. He is full of energy – the kind of boy who always wants to know what’s next. He likes soccer, loves baseball and basketball but his true passion is dancing. And though we often say that he’s more break-dancer than ballet dancer, he has done well. He’s been in several productions of the Nutcracker as a party boy and an angel - the two sides of W. we always say.
He is one of three younger boys at his ballet school where there are dozens of girls and less than a dozen boys. And that makes me wonder, “Why aren’t more boys dancing?” Surely there are many boys like W. whose kinetic energy could find an outlet in arabesques and jetés. The answer is clearly that we aren’t giving boys the freedom to dance. We have a rigid idea of what it means to be a boy and fathers, mothers, children’s friends, even the media, reinforce those ideas.
I’ve heard from many parents who tell me that their son would love to dance but he won’t take lessons. I’ve also met many parents who have told me the sad story of their son who began lessons but stopped dancing because of teasing from their friends. Dancing is for girls and boys who dance can be branded as “sissy” even if no one ever says those words. Our definition of what it is to be a boy is evolving but we’re still playing by the same rules and that’s sad for other boys like W. who want to be that dancer leaping across the stage but even at age six or seven or eight, are aware that it’s not an accepted path to take.
My husband and I are not ballet dancers and we have little knowledge about ballet ourselves. While I can help my children with piano and my husband can teach them to throw a ball, we can offer little help to W. except to encourage him. And so we have become his cheerleaders, with my husband, who was so skeptical about it in the beginning, often being the one who takes W. to classes and rehearsals. That is all W. needs to leap as high as he can.


Jeté: Throwing steps in which the dancer jumps from one foot to the other and one leg is brushed into the air and appears to be thrown.


Arabesque: A basic pose in ballet that is done in profile in which the dancer extends one leg straight behind and one arm extends in front and behind.

Source: American Ballet Theater’s Ballet Dictionary: http://www.abt.org/education/dictionary/index.html