Friday, April 4, 2008

Ballet dilemma

W.'s "report card" had an enthusiastic postscript from one of the directors that told us he should register for the next level in Ballet, Ballet 4. It's three days a week and W. said he was worried about how he would do baseball and basketball but especially baseball.
Three days a week is an awful lot especially for an 8 or 9-year-old. If you add another demanding activity, like baseball, it's a really heavy schedule. W. is a kid who doesn't mind being busy and who seems to thrive on activity but still I worry about him being overscheduled.  I wish ballet were an activity that he could do halfway where he had the option of only taking once a week but it just keeps getting more demanding as he goes.  Ultimately, it may come down to W. choosing between ballet and other sports and he just might choose the other sports.
I don't know why it means so much to me now that W. continue with his ballet. I think it's because he seems to have genuine talent. I realize he would not receive such rave reviews if he were a girl but I still think his reviews are somewhat exaggerated but basically accurate. I also think it's so unique that he's interested in ballet and I'm really proud of him. He's a pretty good baseball player and has potential but it's not as unique a talent.
Anyway, S. suggested that maybe W. should stay back in ballet and I don't think that's a good option.  Then S. said he would talk to the directors about whether W. could sometimes take Ballet 3 so he could fit in his other activities.  But he never ended up doing that because W. said he wasn't sure he wanted to go on to Ballet 4.
This led to S. and I getting into a big argument in which I accused him of not encouraging W. enough and he said I was pushing him into something he didn't want to do.  Neither of us were right, of course. S. does encourage him in ballet and I'm not pushing him. If he said flat out he didn't want to do it, I would be sad but I would be OK with that.  But I do think S. is a little too quick to suggest to W. that maybe he shouldn't take ballet and I see how enthusiastic S. is about baseball and I think that influences W.
In the end, I had a long talk with W. in the car about how he was feeling about going on to Ballet 4.  I asked him if he wanted to do it and he was a little uncertain, "I think so," he said. I asked if he wanted to continue with ballet and  he said, "yes."  So he was a little more certain about that. Then I asked him what he was worried about most about going on to Ballet 4. "I think it will be hard," he said. "Your teachers seem to think you're ready, do you think you're ready?" I asked. "I guess so," he said.  
"What else are you worried about?" I asked. "Are you worried about going to ballet three times a week and fitting in baseball and basketball?" "Yes," he said.  "Which one are you most worried about, the difficulty or the scheduling?" I asked.  "The scheduling," he said.  "Do you want me to talk to your school and see if you can make up classes if you miss them for baseball or basketball?" I asked. "Yes," he said.
So I went into the office and was maybe a little too gushy. "We were thrilled at W.'s evaluation," I started. I explained that he wants to go on to Ballet 4 but still wants to do baseball and basketball.  The director said they were adding a fourth class so he would be able to make up classes he missed. When I told W. that he could make up classes if he had a game, he seemed relieved and I said we would go ahead and register him for Ballet 4. 
We'll see how all this works out next year. I think it will be hard to have three days a week of ballet. It will cut into his play dates and it will be hard to schedule his other sports around it.  But I guess I feel some obligation to follow the teacher's directive to "nurture his talent."  He may not be the next Barishnikov but he has something unique in his life and I'd like him to stay with it for as long as he still loves doing it. 

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